Part 2 of The Boy We Loved, Once Upon a Time – posts about my nephew, Jeff, who died of cancer 25 years ago this week.
In 1996, Super Bowl Sunday was on January 28. I had just flown back to Texas to spend time with Tom, Kris, Jeff and Lisa, for what would be Jeff’s final days on earth. While the brain tumors had shrunk significantly since the previous March and no active cancer cells were found in August, chemotherapy and radiation had ultimately been unsuccessful in eradicating all of the cancer cells. In November we learned that the cancer had recurred in his spine. Shortly after Christmas, a routine MRI indicated that Jeff’s brain tumors had resumed growth. No more medical treatment could be done.
While devastated and heartbroken, we weren’t shocked. I don’t know that one would use the word dire or grim to describe Jeff’s prognosis from the outset, but I think we had always known that our hope for a cure / recovery in human terms should be measured. The doctors gave strong, realistic hope that he could fully recover, tempered with caution that the cancer could return. We prayed for miraculous healing, yet accepted the outcome as God’s will for Jeff’s life. One of the paradoxes that came to life throughout the year that Jeff had cancer was that Tom and Kris could honestly describe it as a very good year for their family. Our family enjoyed precious moments together at Christmas time. Jeff’s spirit radiated joy and peace even as cancer wreaked havoc with his body. And Super Bowl Sunday was a good day for Jeff.
I have no idea what teams played or who provided the half-time show. We were waiting for a special guest to arrive.
As a pediatric cancer patient, Jeff was enrolled through the Texas Oncology clinic in the Make a Wish program, which makes personal wishes of all kinds come true. Jeff’s wish involved meeting the cast of The Simpsons television show (actually, he wanted to be featured as a guest star on the show, but that proved to be a bit more complicated than the studio / producers were willing to take on). The animated show on the Fox network was among Jeff’s favorites, and he could match Bart Simpson one-liner-at-a-time for wisecracking attitude.
The Make a Wish Foundation arranged to send their family to California to give them a tour of the Fox studio and opportunity to meet the animators and voice talent for the show. Due to Jeff’s rapid decline in health after Christmas, however, the trip was postponed. To lift Jeff’s spirits, Nancy Cartwright, the woman who voices Bart Simpson, agreed to fly to Dallas to meet Jeff at their home. A long white limousine delivered the petite woman with a lively smile and warm heart right to their door.
Nancy spent nearly two hours with us, telling the family about her life as a cartoon character voice, as well as getting to know Jeff and his work as an aspiring cartoon artist. As the Make a Wish newsletter worded it, “It’s safe to say that when Nancy arrived at Jeff’s home, he was a real fan of Bart’s. By the time she left Jeff’s home, Bart was a real fan and friend of Jeff’s.” Her willingness to interrupt her own schedule and give of her time to bolster and encourage the hearts of people she didn’t know was a gesture of selflessness and blessing that still speaks to me, 25 years later.
When she learned that Jeff had died, Nancy sent flowers to Tom and Kris, along with a kind expression of her condolences. A few years later, Nancy published a book entitled My Life as a 10-Year-Old Boy which includes a brief description of her time with Jeff on Super Bowl Sunday, 1996.
One of Jeff’s favorite companions during his year with cancer was Herbert, a tiny, stuffed, hedgehog that fit nicely in the palm of his hand. Herbert had his own storyline, along with his own little suitcase, complete with a wardrobe for his exploits. At one point, during a visit to the cancer clinic, Herbert flatlined and had to be resuscitated by Jeff, who used his fingertips as defibrillator paddles (Clear!). His alter ego, evidently, was a cyborg (or is he an android?). Now retired, Herbert lives under a glass dome on the West Coast.
Karna Eastlund Haugen 